this actually freaks me out a bit. i always bottle everything up and don’t say a word when i’m angry or upset, and then it comes to a point where i completely burst and everything that i finally let out is like a thousand daggers stabbing whoever the anger is directed towards repeatedly. i have a way of holding on to the things that will hurt people the most and using it when i reach my breaking point. it’s not something to be proud of; it’s actually something that scares me. i’m not a mean or aggressive person, but i have this other side hidden away that is out for blood if you hurt me or someone i care about.
i think i’ve finally figured it out. and by that i mean that i’ve realized that i’ll never truly have anything figured out. because things change over night; feelings, circumstances, the weather. basically anything can change without you expecting it to. so you need to just take a deep fucking breath and live a day at a time, a feeling at a time, a moment at a time. because if you do that, then every decision you make is what you wanted, if even just for that one moment. but it’s worth it. it makes it easier. it makes sticking it out worth it because who knows what can or will change. you just need to wait and see and trust your instincts in that moment.
to say that this boy has captured my heart is an understatement. not only did he win silver at the olympics but he found a mother and her 4 puppies wandering around in sochi and decided to take them all home with him before they get slaughtered since that’s what they’re doing to strays over there. you sir, are a gem. thank you.